Monday, May 2, 2011

To embrace it or kick and scream, that is the question!

All right, let me begin by apologizing to all my male readers. That being said, deal. You have wives, sisters, mothers, and daughters and, well, approximately half the population is of the gentler persuasion, so you must know someone who is a woman.

Taking all that into consideration, I will speak in vague terms so as not to upset or offend your manly man senses. If your manly man sense cannot talk straight talk about “women” stuff…stop reading now. This is your one and only warning…we are ready for take off…here goes…

Since the beginning of the year, I have changed from an “every 4 week regular kinda gal” to an “every 6 week kinda gal.” Not sure if this is due to stress (I don’t feel stressed out even though I have a lot going on and I’m told I don’t need to “feel” it to be affected by it) or it’s very early perimenopause. Come on…I’m only 44!

So…here’s the problem. Just when, after a gazillion years, I finally have a handle on my emotional issues at this topsy-turvy time of the month…I’m thrown a monkey wrench and everything changes. It’s not fair! (Temper tantrum stomping of feet is very hard to show here…use your imagination!)

On the surface, well, things couldn’t be better. My life stays relatively calm for six straight weeks instead of just four. Yeah…I like that part! It’s the rest that has me clamoring for the old ways.

For example, in the old days, I would have one day of either emotional sensitivity or an extreme lack of patience. Never both. Always a sign of what was about to come. I had the awareness and compassion on my family to say hey…sorry I am a bit (whichever it was) and we all went about life with a fair amount of normalcy.

Fast forward 3 months to present. Ugh. It’s a bit embarrassing to share this.

Two nights ago my husband and I were discussing my speaking schedule and coordinating our calendars. Were he and our son going with on an out of town trip…or not? Was I staying at a hotel or with family or friends etc? I mentioned that if he did not come with, I could stay with someone and that would save us some cash. Our conversation ended and we got on with the next thing.

The next day our conversation went something like this.

Danny: So what is happening this weekend?

Me: (thinking…uh…didn’t we have this conversation last night?) Well, I’ll ride down with Jonna on Friday night. She is taking the day off work on Saturday to help me with the book table.

Danny: Why are you going on Friday night?

Me: (getting a bit frustrated) because that is what I planned. What if something happens on our way down? The event starts at noon. I don’t want to be late. (I am an extreme planner…I have been in the area of an event hours early just so I can drive by it ahead of time to make sure I am not late. I have being late!)

Danny: Two nights of a hotel? (He knows I have a meeting with another area women’s ministry leader on Sunday afternoon to plan another event that I will be speaking at)

Me: Did we not discuss this last night? Forget it. Just forget it!

Danny: What? You are getting upset.

Me: Yes, because we already discussed this. (at this point I am crying…I head upstairs to get a box of tissues. I come back, half composed. My husband looks very confused.)

Me: I told you last night; I would stay at someone’s house. I give up.

Danny: I’m sorry. I forgot. I remember now that you told me. I just forgot.

Me: (bawling) I should quit now. What is the point? If nothing I say is memorable, what is the point of talking to anyone!!! You, my husband, can’t even remember what I said last night. How are women anywhere going to remember anything I say? This is pointless.

At this point my husband started laughing…he knew better, but apparently he couldn’t help it.

As I turned my head away (I see where both my children get this very annoying trait) so I couldn’t see him, he continued to laugh.

My “mad” stayed around for a little while. I had imaginary conversations in my head for a couple of hours before God got a hold of me and talked some sense into me.

The message was simple. Change is inevitable. You can either embrace it…or scream and kick the whole way. Make a decision.

Embracing it will continue you on this journey of “becoming” what I have called you to be at a pace that will get you where you are going while you can still walk, talk, type, see, and hear your audience. Kicking and screaming all the way will get you there…but in a wheelchair. By the time you arrive, your gifts will have become useless and I will have already used someone else. Your choice. You Decide.

Do you embrace the changes that come in your life? Do you see them as opportunities to grow and mature? Or do you have the tendency (like me sometimes) to kick and scream, fighting against them with every ounce of your being?


  1. I tend to do both on occasion. Depends on the change. My husband laughs at me when I get mad too. Makes me even madder. :) I get migraines, and my mom always says, "Are you stressed?" I don't feel stressed. Apparently, that's the body saying I am. I'd rather it tap me gently on the shoulder.

  2. I think that the Women will listen to you far better than our husbands listen to us:) Just the way God made us to listen much better :)
    Have a great trip. Oh and did you get my note on goodreads with my address?

  3. Jessica, my hubby just read my blog and starting laughing at your response..."Makes me even madder." I agree, a shoulder tapping would work much much better!

    Melanie, lets hope so! LOL...I can be so dramatic at times! I did receive your message. Thank you! I have been so busy! I have three books to mail...yours is one of them. I am speaking at a school tomorrow for an assembly of sorts. I am hoping I make it to the post office afterward to mail them out. I will message you as soon as it is sent so you will know it is on the way. :)

  4. How coincidental that you just posted this. My husband and I were just looking at the "new and improved" email format that we could try and after a just a few seconds of pointing and clicking he said...he doesn't like it, he doesn't like change, he'll stay with the old format. I thought I'd might give it a chance for awhile. I don't think most people like change, but I think, for the most part it depends on how you view it.

  5. I am a bit behind on reading your blog! LOL! This entry cracked me up cause it is so unlike you but sooooo like me! It is a good thing our men take it in stride when we get emotional about things!

    Change is hard and I know I have a hard time with it. Even when it is a change for the better, I seem to want to cling to what is comfortable and familiar.