Monday, May 23, 2011

He Was Born That Way!!!

My son was about 6 years old and we were watching Die Another Day with Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry. I love me some James Bond! Action…a hero that never dies…a good looking bad boy that most women, at some point in their lives, are attracted to. I mean…he’s got it all…right?

Well, about a third of the way through the movie there is a scene where Halle Berry comes up out of the ocean in her orange bikini, slow motion like, skin glistening looking like every man’s dream. Including my six-year-old son’s.

His reaction was “WHOA!” and his jaw was on the floor. While part of me was “Yes! My boy appreciates a good woman and will make some gal a great husband”, the other part of me was struck with his automatic response. His knee jerk reaction to a woman’s body, particularly the part just above the waist and just below the neck, (if you know what I mean) surprised me. Where did this come from?

He was born that way! No…I mean, really, he was born that way! He was created by God to love and appreciate one woman…someday.

Lately I have been pondering a subject that needs our attention. Modesty. Remember back when I narrowed the subject matter of this blog to becoming a woman of God? When I told you that I wasn’t going to be politically correct? That some things might hurt our toes a little bit? This is one of those things.

Ladies, we are not of this world, so why do we act like we are?

I watched Hannity interview Rebecca St. James on the subject of the “slutwalks” that originated in Toronto and are now taking place around our country. These “slutwalks” consist of women who are generally scantily dressed and are taking place to rebuttal the belief that women who dress provocatively are “asking” to be raped and treated without respect. Here is a little bit of the interview:

The first demonstration was called earlier this month after a Toronto police officer claimed “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” Since then, protests have spread through cities across the U.S.
“I think there has to be responsibility though for what a woman is wearing,” St. James told Hannity Monday. “When a woman is dressing in an immodest way, in a proactive way, she’s got to think about what is she saying by her dress?”
“They’re asking for sex,” she continued. “They’re asking for sex if they’re dressed immodestly.”
While Rebecca agreed that no woman deserves to be raped and mistreated, she did say (and I completely agree with her) that women are to be responsible for what they are saying and asking through their actions, specifically how they dress.

That brings me to something that I am seeing more and more in our churches today. We are allowing the world’s standards to creep in, in more ways than one.

What did you wear to church this past Sunday? Did you show some cleavage? One inch? Two? Do you really want every man in that church staring at you, thinking about your body the way your husband does? Really?

Do you mean to be a distraction to your pastor as he is trying to bring you the Word of God? Are you testing him? As he is talking to you after church, trying to maintain eye contact, do you want him battling his flesh? He is a man. Men are physical beings. Yes he loves God. Yes, he has dedicated his life to serving our Lord and Savior. He is still a man! Don’t go there!

How about your best friend’s husband? Do you want him thinking about your body in a sexual way? Come on! Stop! It makes you feel sexy? Great…wear it for your husband in the privacy of your bedroom!

Speaking of husbands…how does it make your husband feel when you wear that low cut top? Do you think he likes you sharing that part of you that should be his, and his alone? If our guys, who are seeking to do God’s will in all, manage to keep their eyes off your breasts and win the “flesh” war that you have thrust them into, the men in Walmart are not going to show any discipline, period! You bare yourself in public and you can expect to be gazed upon, gawked at, whistled at, talked about, and in extreme cases…taken advantage of.

Is it right? No. Should it happen? No. While those questions are asked and answered in rhetoric, the most important question is this: Does it happen? Yes.

There are men out there who have no self-control. They do not care about your rights. They do not care about your freedom of self-expression. They see something they want and they take it. It doesn’t matter how wrong it is. It doesn’t matter that there will be consequences. It doesn’t matter to him that it’s 90 degrees outside and you are hot. It just doesn’t matter.

If you are victimized, those questions won’t matter to you either. It’ll all be over but the crying!

I Thessalonians 4:7 For God has not called us for impurity, but of holiness.

Do you reach for the higher goal…the goal of holiness? Or are you satisfied with the world’s way of doing things?


  1. I've seen more booty shorts with wedges on young teenage girls in church than I want to. I'd like to smack their mothers and even their fathers for letting them out of the house this way.

    I think we need to dress intentionally. Be intentional about being modest. Keep the girls where they belong. Under the covers! :)

  2. This is the first time I've heard about slutwalks, and I can't believe women are doing that. There is a growing delusion that women are expressing their feminine power when they choose to dress a certain way. God made men and women equal, but each gender is blessed with its own gifts, talents, and abilities. Dressing inappropriately certainly won't do a thing to help these blessings along! We can find balance between looking too provocative and being too prim.

    I will also say that the clothing itself has taken a dive. Most items designed for women and young girls flaunt low necklines or short hems. I was taught to layer a camisole beneath my shirt if I thought it was showing too much. But those designs are so commonplace now that people don't bat an eyelash.

    Sorry if I'm ranting! The decline of fashion is a pet peeve of mine, lol!

  3. I am a middle school teacher and I just had a conversation with my students about how their reputation is quite often based upon how they "look", not just how they act, and how difficult it is to change ones repuation once established. Unfortunately most disagree with me until it's too late.

  4. I had to comment twice...this topic reminded me of an old song...the melody is catchy, but the words are great!

    EVE WASN'T MODEST TILL SHE ATE THAT APPLE (We'll Have To Pass The Apples Again)
    (Chas. McCarron / Albert Von Tilzer, 1917)

    Everybody loves a girl who's modest,
    Everybody loves a girl who's shy,
    When a girl is modest and retiring
    You can bet she'll always get by
    Modesty began in the garden of Eden,
    In every book you'll find
    I'll admit it started in the Garden of Eden,
    But just bear this in mind.

    Just suppose that every girl was modest,
    Just suppose that every girl was shy,
    There would be no dust when days are windy
    To blow right in the naughty man's eye
    We'd have better business in our marriage market,
    Each man would surely mate
    When they start proposing they can see what they're getting,
    That's why some hesitate.

    Eve wasn't modest till she ate that apple
    That old apple to blame
    The minute that she ate it,
    she felt humiliated and hid behind the apple tree till darkness came
    If one little apple made the first girl modest,
    It ought to work now as well as then
    Once they only wore a leaf
    Clothes are getting just as brief,
    If every mother's daughter, wears dresses any shorter,
    We'll have to pass the apples again.

    Eve wasn't modest till she ate that apple
    That old apple to blame
    The minute that she ate it,
    she felt humiliated and hid behind the apple tree till darkness came
    If one little apple made the first girl modest,
    It ought to work now as well as then
    Way back in the olden days
    Men were fooled by girlie ways,
    For then we never knew them,
    but now we see right through them,
    We'll have to pass the apples again.

  5. Great comments. Jessica, I think that is what I find so sad, it's infiltrating our churches AND it's not being dealt with. It has gotten to the point that everything is about God's love. The call to be holy and righteous have been thrown out the window.

    Brandi, my pet peeve too! I just don't understand it. I have camisoles in white, black and cream...just in case :)

    Lisa...I bet you see everything! And the consequences. Thank goodness you are in the schools to teach the kids more than just math and English! We need more teachers like you! I've never heard that song. I will need to look it up.

  6. charmain griffithsMay 30, 2011 at 4:54 PM

    Wonderful article Darlene. When I was growing up in church we had "church mothers" who would be on the lookout for things like this. And would intervene so that the Pastor and ministers would not have to deal with it. I often look in church and wonder why do some women believe that dressing anyway they feel like is ok. It says at lot where the heart is at, and how insensitive we are about each other. Cover up is your right