Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I walked into the house on Saturday afternoon and almost had a melt down. My husband stood at the counter with an almost empty 2-liter bottle of 7-up.
I looked from the bottle to him. “What are you doing?”
His puzzled reply, “Drinking 7-up.”
“Because I want some.”
My facial expression must have registered a fear that is normally only present during a national disaster. “That is for the punch! You never drink 7-up. Your soda is in the fridge.”
In his most calming voice he reassured me “the store is two blocks away and we can get more. This is no big deal.”
In no uncertain terms I let him know not to make a no deal out of my big deal!
Was my meltdown really about the 7-up? No. It wasn’t. I know the store is 2 blocks away. I also know they still carry 7-up. Between book signings, planning a wedding shower, getting very little sleep for three nights running and being attacked in a very personal way by someone I thought I could trust, I was at my limit. The 7-up was the catalyst for me “losing” it!
The stress continued through the day. I forgot to add sugar and eggs to the last batch of cupcakes. My frosting curdled. I was impatient. I was demanding. I was childish. I was close to throwing a temper tantrum. Sound familiar? No, I am not your two year old. I’m not that familiar!
Had I really forgotten the words I had just posted on my facebook page several days earlier? I had commented on Acts 17:25 when Paul and Silas were in prison praying and singing praises to God. Glorifying God in the midst of trials is not what I do best. It’s not my first reaction. I’m not sure it ranks in the top ten! I get to it eventually, when the Holy Spirit starts whispering in my ear, calming me, reminding me who I am.
During the 7-up meltdown when I realized how foolish I sounded, I did not stop my tirade. I continued to pout. It wasn’t until later, when I spent some time reflecting on all that happened, that I adopted an attitude of thankfulness, knowing that I grow in these times of trouble. Through trials I am made to depend upon my Savior. Through heartache I learn that He is my ultimate source of strength and wisdom. As of late, these fitful “episodes” only rear their ugly heads once in a great while. I am growing. I am changing. I am beginning to look like the woman God intended me to be.