I really don’t think clearly when I’m sick. My brain is scattered. Sometimes I talk in circles. Sometimes I think in circles. I apologize for this ahead of time when I speak with anyone about anything I should be aware of, educated about or well versed enough to discuss. It’s like my brain is hanging out the sign “Out to Lunch.”
On Tuesday I went on a hot date with my husband. First we ate some dinner, which was delicious. We were celebrating Danny’s release of his Tips on Tips program. Then we went pricing food for kid’s jam. Yeah, we’re cool like that. After getting kicked out of Sam’s (who knew they closed at 8:30?) we headed to Walmart. Almost to the end of our little pricing expedition, my throat went crazy. I had a hard time breathing and I couldn’t speak. My nose started running and I could feel the drainage in the back of my throat.
Danny grabbed me a quick drink and after downing several swallows, I could at least talk. I chalked the whole episode up to sinuses. By that evening my mouth was in intense pain. We have no dental insurance so as I was mentally adding up all the available money I could get my hands on, I was making a deal with God. At that point my throat was scratchy as well. Still thinking allergies/sinuses.
My deal, Lord, You know we can’t afford a dentist right now. I’ll handle the sore throat, allergies, all the yuck etc. but please heal my mouth.
I gargled with salt water. Checked out my stash of essential oils. Numbed my mouth with Orajel and went to bed.
The next morning, Wednesday, I woke up with zero mouth pain. But my throat was in full throttle forward. It was hard to swallow. I winced with saliva let alone food. And I thought, now this I can handle.
On day three I woke up in even more pain. And this thought crossed my mind. Why does God have to be an either/or God? Is He not capable of being an “everything” God? And why do I feel I need to make deals with Him anyway? When my own children are sick do I make deals with them to take away the greater illness and instead make them suffer with a bout of the flu? No. I wouldn’t want that for my children now why do I think God would want that for me?
Matthew 7:9-11 says this: “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
He is more capable than we give Him credit for. I’m done making deals with God and I’m going to approach His throne with confidence that He wants the best for me. Not seconds, not leftovers, not rummage sale quality, but the best!
Lord, I come boldly before your throne. I ask that you heal me in the name of Jesus. I pray that the enemy would be held at bay and that all my energy would be restored so I might glorify you in all that I must do. In the precious name of Jesus. Amen.